The psychotherapist needs to say everything. Or not?

The unspoken requirement of openness became a trend. We are waiting for loved ones and friends to tell us everything, honestly and in detail analyzing their feelings and motives of actions. Inviting a child’s confidential conversation, we are counting on a sincere presentation of everything that boiled. But if we tell each other almost everything, why do we need psychotherapists? Why pay for the service that we provide to each other willingly and for free?

“Frankness is not the goal of a psychotherapist,” comments the psychoanalyst Marina Harutyunyan. – No need to confuse the psychoanalysis session with sincere conversations when we share with friends what we feel, what we deliberately reflected in. Psychoanalyst is interested in the fact that a person himself does not realize – his unconscious, which, by definition, cannot be pronounced “.

The study of the unconscious Sigmund Freud compared with archaeological reconstruction, when from the insignificant cherries extracted from the depths of the Earth or randomly scattered, the integral picture of what did not seem to have any connection. So the topic of conversation to the psychoanalyst is not so important.

“Freud invited the patient to imagine that he was traveling on the train, and asked to call everything that he sees outside the window, without ignoring either garbage heaps or fallen leaves, not trying to embellish something,” explains Marina Harutyunyan. – In fact, this stream of consciousness becomes a window into the inner world of a person. And this is not at all like a confession, preparing for which the believer carefully recalls his sins, and then repents of them. “.

The analyst is

trying to detect an internal conflict that we are not aware. And for this he monitors not only the content of the story, but also the “holes” in the presentation. After all, where the stream of consciousness concerns painful zones that cause anxiety, we tend to avoid them and leave the topic.

Therefore, we need another, one who will help explore the psyche, overcoming, as painlessly possible, is resistance. The work of the analyst allows the patient to understand what true affects he suppresses, covering with other, socially desirable reactions.

“Yes, the psychoanalyst monitors reservations or hesitation, but not with the goal of catching a“ criminal, ”the expert said. – We are talking about a joint study of mental movements. And the meaning of this work is that the client can understand himself better, has a more realistic and integrated view of his thoughts and actions. Then it is better oriented in itself and, accordingly, is better in contact with others.

The analyst also has his individual morality, but he does not operate with ideas about sin and virtue. It is important for him to understand how and what the patient harms himself in order to help him be less self -destructive “.

The psychotherapist does not condemn the said and carefully refers to the patient’s protective mechanisms, perfectly understanding that self -accusation in the role of confessions is not the most important key to successful work.